An Open Letter to Eddie Vedder

Dear Mr. Vedder,

We'd like to preface this by saying, we think you are an amazing artist. Undoubtedly, you have reached the heights of stardom so many struggling artists can only dream of attaining. Dare we say, you are a legend.

With that said . . . please stop releasing albums.

It's not you, it's us—you just don't do "it" for us anymore.

Take for instance your recent release, Into the Wild (Music for the Motion Picture): The coming of age story where a college grad pawns everything to go it alone in the Alaskan wilderness. It's earthy; you're earthy. Sean Penn directed it; you're liberal too. The main character, Christopher McCandless (Emile Hirsch) wears flannel—you see where we're goin' with this.

So sure, you liked the story. But, did you have to make the soundtrack? No. Do you know why you didn't have to make the soundtrack? Because you've made this same soundtrack/CD in double digits, dude?! You're voice and style is so stereotypical you, you could have stopped recording 10 years ago and we wouldn't have noticed.

And now, frankly, you're just starting to piss us off.

Again, you have your spot in musical history. There's no denying that. But you need to find that sweet spot between the actions of Kurt Cobain and the endless rehash that is the career of Mick Jagger.

Take a break. Disappear. Go have some fun with your life. You deserve it.

If you must record something in the next 15-20 years, then do some more stuff like the Neil Finn & Friends album. That was totally unexpected and actually peaked our interest in you. However, if Neil Young comes calling, don't even think about it, dude.

In 15-20 years this is what you do:
1. You get the band back together
2. You record no more than 2-3 new songs to "get the word out" that you're back (We know you'll have to use some restraint based on your current proliferation)
3. Release a standard and deluxe version of a greatest hits including the new songs
4. Book a world wide tour. Play nothing seating less than 20,000
5. When you have about 4 weeks left of the tour, cancel the last 4-6 dates citing "exhaustion"
6. After 2-3 months of constant speculative health news reports, announce that you'll be rescheduling the canceled shows AND will be adding an additional 12 months of dates

If you follow this formula, we promise that you will make more money in those 18-24 months then you would if you were to release an album every year leading up to this proposed scenario. And your legacy will go forward shining brightly.

In summary, you are a good guy. You've got talent. But you're starting to turn into a Wurlitzer full of the same 45.

You can keep putting out stuff that sounds like the stuff you've already put out, or you can wait until folks really start pining for the music of their youth and bring you back to the success you once had. We prefer the latter.

It's your choice.

Sincerely,
The BGL centre